If you give a mom a head cold,
She’s probably going to want to wear her jammies all day
Her kids probably will, too
She’ll give them cold cereal for breakfast,
And Ramen noodles for lunch
They’ll want chips and salsa, too,
So she’ll get a few bowls of that out
The chips will make the kids thirsty,
So they’ll ask for drinks
Lots of them
She’ll get several glasses of milk, chocolate milk, and apple juice
And keep putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher
All that work will make her tired,
So she’ll turn on a movie for the older kids
And put the 2 year old down for a nap (even though she knows it’s WAY too late)
And spend the afternoon in between asleep and awake.
Dinner won’t even be on her mind until she realizes Dad will be home soon
So she’ll call Dad and he’ll bring pizza
When he gets home, Mom will ask him to take over
Even though she hasn’t been doing anything in the first place
She’ll feed the baby even though she doesn’t want to
He’ll feed the kids and get them ready for bed
Then he’ll realize that the two year old is still asleep
The two year old will wake up around bedtime and want to eat
Dad will feed him chocolate milk and snuggle with him while watching tv
Mom will lay in bed some more, thinking of all the things she should do
Or remind Dad to do
But she won’t actually do any of those things
She’ll get up around 8:30 to put the 2 year old back to bed
Then she’ll fall back asleep
In the morning, she’ll notice the plates still on the counter from the night before
She’ll still be grateful for Dad, even though he didn’t finish all her jobs
After all, she forgot to remind him
The kids will wake up and want breakfast
She’ll open the dishwasher and discover it’s full of yesterday’s dirty dishes
She’ll open the cupboard and discover she used every plastic bowl in the house yesterday
She’ll pour cereal into glass bowls
And give the “break resistant” one to the 2 year old
The baby will wake up and want to eat, too
Mom will want some peace and quiet, so she’ll feed him in his room
She’ll ignore the yelling and laughing and pounding going on in the kitchen
Even though she knows she shouldn’t
Ignoring the noise will work for a while,
Until she hears a bowl shatter
She’ll curse the makers of “break resistant” glassware
Then go into the kitchen
Where she’ll find the 2 year old standing on the counter
And the girls sitting in their chairs
Waiting for Mom’s reaction
Mom will want to get mad
It won't be far from happening
Then she’ll look at the 2 year old with his face covered in cereal crumbs
She’ll start to giggle and so will everyone else
She’ll get out the camera and take pictures
Then she’ll sweep up all the glass
Bending over to sweep it up will make her head hurt
That will remind her of her head cold
And she'll probably want to wear her jammies all day…
