A Fresh and Shiny New Year

I gave my blog a very miniature makeover and it was just enough to like it again.  I sort of think that's what new year resolutions should feel like -- not a huge overhaul -- just a few tweaks here and there to make myself tolerable again.

I've thought long and hard about my goals for 2012.  No really, I have.  I really liked having a concept last year instead of specific goals.  It made everything seem more attainable and gave me some room for failure, which I need.

This year, I've decided my theme is going to be:

As a family, we are moving out of the "baby stage."  Stanton and I were discussing the other night how we are growing out of our excuses.  They were legitimate ones, too, believe me.  We made life work and made an effort to do the things we'd been asked to do as a family, but always with the caveat that we could sort of have a pass because everyone was so small.  Well, those days are waving goodbye.  We have Chloe getting baptized in just two short months.  Everyone is in Primary now.  We've grown up.

As a side effect of that growing up, I've noticed that my kids are taking on many of my personality traits...for better and worse.  They are watching and they are soaking it all in and they are at ages where they will remember these days.  Thus my motto for the year.  I want to remember that everything I do is teaching my children something - good, bad, or ugly.  I want to be an example of a faithful wife, mother, disciple of Christ, and citizen of my community.  There are a few key things that I know I need to improve that go along with this motto:


1- I need to be less critical and teasing toward Stanton.
I tease him a lot.  Most of it is in good fun, but he shouldn't be the butt of my fun.  I don't want my children to ever get the impression that I don't think he's doing enough for our family or being less than what he really is.  He is the best man and I want them to feel that from every word I speak to him.


2- I need to yell less.
This is tough for me.  I lost control this morning and really let loose on poor Chloe.  That dear child...she gets the brunt of it, I tell you.  Yes, she knows exactly how to rile me up (it's called ignoring me and being lazy), but if I ever want her to learn to solve problems in relationships maturely, I need to teach her that by my example.  Not just her....all of the kids have a problem with yelling and lack of patience.  I know that's a negative teaching moment I've let slip in.  It's not too late, though.  I am not saying I'm never going to yell this year (ha!), but I'm going to make an effort to do it less and to remember the principle I'm trying to convey.


3- I need to pray more sincerely.
I have developed a good scripture study habit this past year.  I'm grateful for it.  I had a moment while reading my scriptures, though, that taught me something about my own devotion to God.  And it was this:  without meaningful prayer, my devotion is merely a surface devotion.  It's so embarrassing to admit that I often go to bed without praying.  I mean to, but I forget or I fall asleep watching tv or reading and just don't get on my knees to pray.  And when I do, my mind often wanders or I fall asleep mid prayer (that is often because I'm just kneeling in my bed or worse, laying in my bed trying to pray).  I want to develop a more sincere relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I want Him to know that I love Him and honor Him.  I want my children to know it, too.  This year, I'm going to spend more time on my actual knees in actual reverence toward my God.

4- I need to stop using my phone while driving.
That was a random one, wasn't it?  I've known it for a while, though.  My kids are going to have cell phones before I know it and whether or not they use them responsibly is determined largely by how they see me use mine.  I have a horrible, awful, terrible confession to make:  I text and drive.  I look at Google Reader and drive.  I Facebook and drive.  I don't do them all the time, but I do them.  It's HORRIBLE and I know it.  This is my year, though.  No more.  I will still allow myself to take phone calls, but otherwise, my phone is staying in my bag and will not be touched while driving.  I will pull over if something is urgent.  I will ignore it if it isn't. 

5- I need to spend my time on things that have worth.
I know all of us have this issue.  It's an ongoing battle to allow a little necessary down-time without then wasting the entire morning (or sometimes day) on the computer.  I find it so easy to innocently hop on Facebook or Google Reader for a moment's respite only to find myself on Hulu catching up on all the shows I forgot I love (yeah, enough to not remember they are on at night when I have some free time?  Or to DVR them?  Pshaw!).  I did it this morning and my boys witnessed it.  It was not what I wanted them to see me doing with my free time.  It was even embarrassing.  Why do I do it?  I don't want to give myself a specific time of day to get on the computer -- my days aren't structured enough for that.  But I do want to be more mindful of the example I'm setting.  Yes, I want my children to know that a little downtime is fine...necessary even, but I also want them to know when it's time to move on to things of greater worth.  I want to remember that those little eyes are watching and those intelligent minds are soaking in every second of my example.  I want it to be a good one.

There it is in black and white:  2012-- Every moment is a teaching moment....whether I want it to be or not!